Women and men \u2013 the heteronormative people who make up the majority of our society \u2013 are different and experience the world differently, both because of natural characteristics and historical influences. They have been treated differently for thousands of years, and this continues to affect equal opportunities to lead a self-determined and dignified life in different regions of the world, sometimes more and sometimes less. Women in Europe already have very different experiences of equality than women in Sudan or Ethiopia. Three friends from a women’s network for peace embarked on a journey of discovery to northern Italy and Ethiopia to observe what happens when women connect with each other without men being present. A small step for humanity and a big step for a new kind of peace work.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Rana, Judith and Elisa. Three women, three countries, three stories. What connects us is an inner drive to take action. The desire to help people escape the spiral of violence and powerlessness. When we think too big, we feel small.<\/p>\n We are small. Change only happens when we acknowledge this reality. At the same time, we need a dream to guide us. And that is what brought us together: \u2018Women in White\u2019. Peace activists Aida Al-Shibli from Palestine and Miki Kashtan from Israel invited women from their respective networks to participate in the implementation of their shared vision, and the three of us, along with several other women, followed the call. It doesn’t matter if and when this dream can be realised. An image formed in our minds that touched the three of us so deeply that it motivated us to take action. We imagine:<\/p>\n \u201c100,000 women dressed in white coming to a war zone. They are forming a nonviolent human shield. They are coming from all over the world, including regions party to the war whenever movement is possible. They are spanning all nationalities, all religions, all shades of skin, hair, and eye colour, and all ages. They are standing together to protect everyone, regardless of \u2018side\u2019, political affiliation, or national identity. They are committed and deeply trained, and they are determined to use the power of nonviolence to call everyone back to their humanity. They have trust in their capacity to stop the war and create a foundation for a peaceful approach to addressing the conflict that led to the war. They act as one body, rooted in nonviolence, loving life, vital, and full of faith.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n The \u2018Women in White\u2019 do not see any men when they go in the conflict zone, as there is less inhibition to attack men or a mixed group. Public opinion is more outraged when something happens to women than when it happens to men, which could discourage strategists from violently beating, shooting or bombing a women’s march.<\/p>\n When women meet in small groups, on the other hand, it is about our unconscious behaviour as soon as a person of the opposite sex is present. We are shaped by social norms and inequalities. As soon as a man enters a group of women, I feel more tense and less natural. Perhaps I subconsciously want to impress the man, to be attractive to him \u2013 if I like him \u2013 or I feel pressured and intimidated \u2013 if I don’t like him. Conversely, men also behave differently as soon as a woman enters the room \u2013 as various men have confirmed to me. It’s in our nature. There is a certain tension between the two sexes that is part of life.<\/p>\n Men would certainly also experience a strong connection and a sense of being understood if they could talk honestly among themselves, without women present, about their emotional wounds, their insecurities and their state of mind. We all have different experiences and different wounds. But due to their socialisation \u2013 \u2018men don\u2019t cry\u2019 \u2013 this still seems to be very difficult for them. However, I am hearing more and more often about such men’s groups, which is another reason for optimism \u2013 because it is men who are cut off from their feelings who cause the greatest damage in the world, and we need men who value life \u2013 the earth and all its inhabitants \u2013 and are committed to preserving it, rather than wanting to sell or buy it.<\/p>\n So the three of us connected through the Women in White project and met online every week to talk mainly about Rana’s practical experience with war refugees and street children in her home country of Sudan. What was special about our meetings was that we didn’t have a clear agenda for them. Judith and Rana may have had ideas in mind, as both have a lot of experience working with people in conflict areas: Judith with people in Ethiopia and Rana with women from Sudan.<\/p>\n Despite my aversion to online meetings, I didn’t want to miss any of these meetings because, interestingly, our exchanges energised and inspired me rather than tiring me out. I contributed my theoretical knowledge and insights from all my books on peace, which enabled us to understand the significance of their work on the ground in the broader geopolitical and social context and recognise the power that lay within it.<\/p>\n As I write these lines, I am sitting at a small desk in a town surrounded by the vast land of the region of Oromia in Ethiopia. Rana has already left. Our online meetings resulted in two initial concrete actions.<\/p>\n Together with another colleague from the \u2018Women in White\u2019 in South Tyrol, we held a three-day workshop for women: \u2018The Courage to lived connections\u2019. It was funded by the autonomous region of South Tyrol and was therefore free of charge for all participants. Publicly funded peace work \u2013 that alone was something I had not thought possible and it encouraged me. We designed the programme as follows:<\/p>\n Under the guidance of Susanne Kraft, a German trainer in non-violent communication (NVC), we learned through practical exercises how to transform violence into connection to change patterns in our environment.<\/p>\n With Rana Bilal, coach for \u2018female leadership\u2019 and activist from Sudan, we learned to mourn, dream and celebrate together in rituals and while sitting together doing handicrafts. In a lecture about her personal and political history in Sudan and later in the diaspora in Great Britain, she conveyed her most important insight: the political is personal and the personal is political.<\/p>\n This reminds me of a quote from one of my role models, war reporter Martha Gellhorn:<\/p>\n “People often say with pride, \u2018I’m not interested in politics.\u2019 They might as well say, \u2018I’m not interested in my standard of living, my health, my work, my rights, my freedoms, my future or any future.\u2019 If we want to retain control over our world and our lives, we must take an interest in politics.”<\/em><\/p>\n We harvested our insights and realised through our sharing how they can bear fruit in our everyday lives.<\/p>\n Twenty-two women aged between 14 and 69 attended. We were all particularly delighted to see the five young women. The four of us seminar leaders were working together for the first time and were surprised at how effortlessly our different characters and working styles blended together.<\/p>\n When a conflict arose, we were able to resolve it within minutes: through honesty, self-reflection and humour \u2013 and through the many experiences of honest communication (impact sharing in NVC jargon) that we had gathered during our one year long work with the Women in White. In this way, we walked our talk, rather than focusing on theories.<\/p>\n Rana was the only non-white and non-European participant, and she felt much more comfortable than she had feared. We were all curious about her story, her knowledge and her practical experience with women from Sudan who had been victims of sexual violence. Rana’s father is a doctor and politician, and she has clearly inherited his talents. She is a captivating speaker who also shows her vulnerability. What had been missing in her life for a long time was awareness of her abilities. So we discussed how oppression of women \u2013 even subtle and normalised forms \u2013 still affects us in South Tyrol, Germany and Sudan.<\/p>\n The absence of men allowed for a completely different kind of openness, and through this honest communication and mutual understanding, a great deal of trust in each other and in ourselves developed in a short time. We didn’t have to explain to anyone how it felt or discuss it. Here is an example for European male readers that I read in the Gender Report of the EURAC Research Centre in South Tyrol:<\/p>\n \u201cAmerican activist Jackson Katz always asks people in his workshops how they protect themselves from sexual assault. The men don’t know how to answer because they are unfamiliar with this reality. For them, there is no danger. Women and queer people, on the other hand, immediately list a whole range of precautions: cover your drinks in clubs; don’t walk home alone; don’t go jogging alone; always carry a mobile phone; carry pepper spray; and so on. It’s a huge list. Katz reports that men are always completely stunned that they know nothing about these realities of life for their partners, mothers and daughters.”<\/em><\/p>\n We also talked about the media and manipulation, to recognise how distorted our world view is if we don’t consciously pause and distinguish between the information we get from the media and the prejudices it creates in us, which then prevent us from coming into contact with people who seem threatening to us \u2013 such as migrants or male strangers \u2013 and thereby recognising that they are just human beings who carry fears and scars within them like we do.<\/p>\n At the end of the seminar, each participant shared with everyone else the next concrete step they would take towards a more peaceful society. Because that is probably the most important insight:<\/p>\n Change can only be achieved through small steps. What seems big is usually just a flash in the pan that causes a lot of excitement but ultimately has no lasting effect.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n And so peace work is above all one thing: a personal path to self-awareness and self-efficacy. The more people recognise this and follow this path, the more visible the impact becomes. Even if others do not see the effect of my actions, it is obvious to me and gives me new strength to continue, even when others have given up since a long time and indulged in cynicism, which I can also understand.<\/p>\n After three full days of seminars, we fell into bed exhausted. But the journey did not end there. Susanne travelled back to Munich, while Judith, Rana and I boarded a flight from Milan to Addis Ababa the next day to meet more women here in Ethiopia who are involved in local projects: Elsa and Yetenayet.<\/p>\n In the few days we spent here, a close bond developed between us: five completely different women working together on a project to empower women in Ethiopia, which in turn is another small step towards realising the vision of \u2018Women in White\u2019. Regardless of whether they ultimately dress in white and feel connected to this vision, or make an impact in another way.<\/p>\n One thing is certain: when women raise their voices and use humour, openness and love for all their fellow human beings to take a stand against violence and war, miracles can come true. One example is shown in the documentary film \u2018Pray the Devil back to Hell<\/a>\u2019: women in Liberia ended the war there.<\/p>\n We are not there yet in Sudan or Ethiopia. But we know it is possible. And our five days together, the next steps we decided on jointly, the first tentative buds of cross-cultural friendships, give us all growing strength and confidence, which we hope will inspire others to take their own small steps towards peace.<\/p>\nA brief digression: Why no men?<\/strong><\/h3>\n
From a big vision to small-scale action<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Women’s peace work in Europe<\/strong><\/h3>\n
From Fear to Love<\/strong><\/h5>\n
Embracing new Paths<\/strong><\/h5>\n
Living new Truths<\/strong><\/h5>\n
Real-life experience instead of dry theory<\/strong><\/h5>\n
The journey continues \u2013 Women\u2019s Peacework in Africa<\/strong><\/h3>\n